I'm pretending that i'm ok, all happy emotions are fake, all jokes i make dont even get natural smile to my face because all I think about is Titas. He havent texed me about 4 days in a row, (alot for me now)I promised myself that i wont text him first, bcs it seemed that only i need him and he is just hanging out with me bcs feel sorry for me.. It's not true, he wouldint do that, he just dont want to waste time with me when he can just chill with his friends as allways. I bet he dont even thought once about me yesterday, when 90% of my thougts in all day are about him. I feel like psicho... why in my life love hurts more then make pleasure? I'm losing motivation to live, bcs my heart hurts do much its even hard to breathe. Some must know, when I don't want to talk about something but i have, then I use english, it's much easyer to share my minds like that...

I blame myself as allways, just born this fkin way. Born to hurt myself.